I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
