I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
