ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I am mentally ready for anal.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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