she woke up with a sticky ear
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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