ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
