She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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