You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
