YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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