i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
