But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize