I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
