He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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