in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
