so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
pray to the hookup gods
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
