just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize