Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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