i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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