Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
