Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize