Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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