He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
