? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize
