Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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