Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
