Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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