Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
