that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
