Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
