true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
