Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
