Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
