I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
