quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
