His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
