You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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