this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
