Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
