she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i believe in u and ur pee
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
