i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
