Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
