Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
