I just saw a hot homeless man
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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