3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
