her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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