You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
