drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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