I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize