I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
