You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
