We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
