i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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