i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
