OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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