also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
