You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
