i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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