yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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