don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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