She is in my trunk
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
