I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
