her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
