Welp...herpes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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