So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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