I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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